Saturday, May 8, 2010
Posted by From a Lady's Heart...
I'm currently still in "draft mode" for my post titled "Searching For Significance", and while writing that heartfelt piece, it brought up a lot of pleasant, silly memories from my childhood that diverted me to this brand new post! It sucks having 'train of thought Attention Deficit Disorder' sometimes. Hopefully I can finish this post within the next hour without being interrupted by the need to write a new one... :::sigh:::
This is kind of an embarrassing memory but I figure that since I embarrass myself on a daily basis, I don't mind sharing it with you anyway. I was a Disney princess junkie as a child and I was on the never-ending quest for my prince and the perfect kiss. I was on a serious mission to obtain that puffy shouldered dress and that epic, fate-sealing kiss before the old age of five. I had my sights on this cool kid called Alexander who was the son of my mom's friend. Too be honest, I have no memory of what he looks like anymore but I'm sure he was handsome for a three year old. I would do almost anything to impress him. For instance, did you know that men have an organ on the outside of their body that women lack? I learned all about that for the first time when I witnessed Alex relieving himself out in the back yard one summer afternoon. He just pulled down his big boy diaper, aimed and peed all over the fence. WOW. He was so, so, so cool! Maybe if I could do that, then I would be cool and then he would fall in love with me and kiss me. Right?
One day, our moms stepped outside to see what all the ruckus was on the front porch and were not prepared for the sight they were about to behold. My mother can't help but giggle as she still describes the scene to this day. There is Alex, being cool with his diaper down around his ankles peeing off the porch. Here I am, diaper flung off somewhere in the bushes with my leg up like a dog next to his favorite fire hydrant, urinating all over myself. As I hear the creek of the screen door behind me, I look back unabashed at my mother and exclaim, "We are having a pee party! Wanna come to the pee party?"
I regret to report to you that I did not win over my prince that day. As my mother recounts, when I dragged him to the backyard and flung myself on the ground, closed my eyes and demanded that he KISS ME!, he ran off into the sunset in that cute diaper of his with my heart in his hands.
at 2:10 PM